You’re going to wish you had one of those pre-historic TV sets where the image on the screen rolls over and the top cycles to the bottom! Even that won’t help you this time. Keep your left eye planted at the black rubber pad covering my chair’s left stem, and your right eye glued to the right pad. Keep your eyes spaced out at that pad level until you either go blurry or dumdum, only interrupted by the movements of my feet in your field of vision. Now that we have set the ground rules, shall we begin?
ENTER your financial counselor. I have helped many men invest their money. If you’ve been at your local bank lately and was greeted with your friendly teller dressed like me, you can relate. Except, at my bank, we take drastic measures: I personally take care of your funds. I take matters into my own hands while you keep your eyes planted at the black mat and stroke your penis into oblivion. Every time my movements obstruct your field of vision, I want you to keep counts and report it to me later: that’s how much you’re going to thank me to stimulate your senses. Men have no imagination. Only monstrous appetite to serve at my feet. As for that red line high in the sky above you, you shall not need it if you keep your eyes focused. Practice makes perfect. Keep those eyes glued dummy! As an added layer of assurance, just to help you out, I also censored my open legs when IT came into view. And if you accidentally wander above the red line, do yourself the favor and punch those balls hard enough for me to hear you from New Zealand. No squeeze. Punch. PPUUNCH. You owe me money for all the "Chores & Stuff" series!